The great big 'Balance Sheet' ...

I just turned 39 a few weeks ago and am now perched precariously on the brink of the fabulous 40's. It's funny how time creeps up on you without you realizing it but I don't mind, I'm not complaining. I'd like to believe that I'm aging gracefully, getting better with age even ... like wine. Maybe it's the fact that I am a working musician and I am already very very happy with my choice of trade that makes me a lot calmer in the face of FATHER TIME! It's true, I think most people spend too much time worrying that they may have not made the right choices career wise ... hence the worry that they're running out of time to make the necessary adjustments. I think we musicians are a more centered, grounded and well adjusted lot. In other words we're basically more cocksure than your average individual ... ha ha! Well it's because we made our decisions a long time ago on what we want to do and now that we've taken that leap of faith to do it, we just do it with a vengeance ... no holds barred! I remember wanting to be a professional musician at a very young age and as soon as I cleared the minimum educational hurdle, even in the face of such adversity like peer pressure, nothing was going to stop me. Oh yeah, talking about education, I have another bone to pick with the general public here. Please don't asume that we're musicians because we dropped out of school. A lot of us have at least college degrees ... ha ha, we just haven't found any use for them ... yet!

Over the last couple of years a lot of things have happened to contribute towards me being the kind of person I am now. I still feel as young as I did a decade ago (yeah ... right!) and the only noticeable change in me...well besides my loss of hair is, I'm a more relaxed individual now. Most of my childhood angst has been replaced by a calmer and cooler (some people say "colder' ... ha ha) exterior. I believe the major factor in this change of mine is GILLIAN ... my 8 year old daughter! She's like the RADIATOR to my ENGINE ... ha ha, for lack of a better metaphor. Everytime I get heated up over something she cools me down ... literally! Kids are wonderful that way ... they just don't give a rat's ass if daddy or mommy has had a bad day. As long as you're home, they give you that look that implies ... "YOUR ASS IS MINE!". Ha ha and Gillian is more so that way coz she's an only child ... these past 8 years with her have taken my tolerance level to heights I never thought I would ever achieve! Hooray for parenthood ... I now look at my mom and dad as heroes! Ha ha ... forgive me if I'm turning all you would be parents off. I mean well and besides, people always say, it's best to be prepared for whatever may come. Yes, one may say that having a child has made me grow up quite a lot :o)

My only worry about getting older is wether I will achieve all the goals I've set for myself, if I would live out my life to it's optimum capacity. Ha ha ... sounds like a Math/Physics or Accounts problem. Actually that's not too far from the truth ... life is like a great big 'balance sheet'. Everyone's been given certain talents (resources) to work with and at the end of it all, we have to tally both debit & credit sides until a reasonable balance is achieved. Some people under achieve & come up short but others achieve a lot in the time they are given. I guess I would like to be in the latter category. Don't mean to sound morbid but I really would like to leave as much of me behind when I go ... ha ha, I really do feel that way! I think everyone wants to be remembered for something good and I strongly believe that that is mankind's take on 'IMMORTALITY'. This is the true 'FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH' people, there is no viscous liquid in a bottle that gives you ever lasting life. This is it! You leave a part of yourselves behind in the deeds that you do ... that is what you will be remembered for and guess what? You only have one chance at it, so don't blow it! Ha ha ha ha ... either that or have bus loads of children. They do say that your children live through you. Immortality in the eyes of your children and your children's children...

Oh well ... for those of you sitting on the brink of what is the end of the 30's and beginning of the 40's, I wish you wealth, health and most of all wisdom! May you find comfort and peace in the company of FATHER TIME and may he grant you above everything else, the ability and persistence to achieve all the goals you set for yourselves ... your little slice of immortality!

Gerard Singh