Focal Point ...

All my life I've never had to compromise very much! In my family, I'm the eldest of three children and I'm also the oldest grandchild on both my maternal and paternal sides. In most Asian cultures that pretty much means I'm the 'KING OF THE HILL'!!! Ha ha ... I think because of that, I grew up rather spoilt as I was used to getting my way most of the time. I was very content living my life that way for many years and even the friends I kept almost always deferred to me when it came to decision making. Even when I was not around and there was a decision to be made, friends and family would always consider my interest first before making most decisions. All I needed to do was focus on myself and what I wanted to do. It got to be quite comfortable for me until the day I left my parents home in JB (Johor Bahru - to the uninitiated) for KL (Kuala Lumpur) to work.

A whole slew of different individuals slowly but surely illuminated me on this little concept called COMPROMISE! Working in a completely unfamiliar and sometimes unfriendly environment made me realize that at times you just have to go with the flow. That was very difficult for a person who previously spent his life making an art out of going against the grain! The first thing I had to do was to deal with the issue of PRIDE ... or more accurately put, HURT PRIDE! Leaving the comfort zone of JB where people already knew who, what or how I am, for KL where no one really gives a shit, was a real eye opener. I came to realize that I needed to get with the program in order to get a 'toe hold' into the scene. Thus began my unlearning of almost everything I thought of as my GOSPEL before. The unnecessary attitude and juvenile pride were the first things that had to go. I also exchanged my rather short fuse for a longer one and believe me that was achieved under much duress LOL! It made me realize one very very important lesson ... maybe all my friends before this only tolerated me! My God, that was a scary thought and it made me feel insecure for quite a while. I needed to focus on improving other people's perception of me as a person and a performer ... and even as a friend.

I learnt to adapt to the new elements in my new life reasonably well or so I thought, when I was introduced to another aspect of re-learning called HUMILITY! Local production houses started calling me into their studios for 'jingles' (advertisement - to the uninitiated). Months and months of lending my vocals to numerous jobs with unsuccessful results made me re-evaluate my worth as a singer/musician! I think that was one of the hardest things I've had to endure because when you've decided on a career, it's really difficult to deal with the fact that maybe you're just not good enough! As fate would have it, I was finally excepted into the local jingle industry as a voice talent. Just as I was starting to get a little comfortable with my achievement, my real lesson in humility began. CLIENTS!!! We've all heard of how 'the customer is always right', well in the jingle industry the client is GOD! In fact I believe that the client is more GOD than God ever really is! They treat you like a 'musical instrument', a 'thing' and believe me that isn't good because singers are seldom that way. So sometimes you get stuck in the recording booth for hours on end, trying your level best to achieve something humanly impossible just because some producer is trying very hard to please a client, who in reality is a musical dunce in the first place! Where was that short fuse when I really needed it? Focus Gerard FOCUS!!!

I thought that was the pinnacle of all my lessons in life, and that what was in store for me from that point on was a smoother ride. How wrong I was, along comes Colin Jansen (guitar/vocals), Sherman Tan (bass/vocals) and Mark Felix (drums/vocals) to persuade me to form a show band for the local club scene. So along with Marfante Haridass (keyboards/vocals) and Regina Panizales (Vocals) we formed STAINLESS STEEL, I must say ... one of the better show bands in the country at that time. Playing in a band where everyone is an artist in their own right was never easy. Everyone had a strong opinion and we very seldom agreed with each other but it was a great band so we stuck it out for almost 2 years before calling it quits ... STAINLESS STEEL finally rusted! Some of us left for different bands and solo careers, and most left in disappointment (I know I did too). Once again I was left with re-evaluating myself. Trying to figure out what went wrong and desperately trying not to lay blame on the other members. It wasn't an easy task but I think some of us managed to achieve it as we have an even better time working together now. I learnt not to be petty and to put past grievances aside ... well at least for a later date LOL! So I focused on picking up the pieces and thinking up a new game plan, career wise.

In the midst of the band breaking up (at the end of May 1998) and armed to the teeth with all those valuable lessons on life, I embarked on the single most important thing in my very own life ... FATHERHOOD! It's amazing how a bouncing baby girl can be responsible for all your preparation and pre-conceptions going out the window. It was on the 8th. of May 1998, the day Gillian was born that my whole life changed. Almost everything I had learnt before didn't seem appropriate anymore ... nothing seemed enough. I didn't have enough cool, patience, tolerance, knowhow, time, money, even focus ... you name it and if I had it, it was never enough. I remember thinking to myself then, 'what is this little bundle of wrinkled skin and flesh that demands so much'. Heck the sum of my life up to that point just wasn't enough ... I just wasn't good enough for this new life I helped bring into the world. It took me a long while to settle into my new role and I believe I never really have ... not completely. I just do the best that I can all the time and pray that it's sufficient for her. Everyday with her is a NEW experience and in my life of reasonably consistent inconsistencies ... she is still, the WILD CARD! I thank God for her every minute of everyday, because she is my FOCUS in a world that is sometimes MAD!

Gerard Singh